How to train your cat

I know people who tell me they had to sleep on the couch tonight because the cat was in their bed. Who "pet" cats like bad dogs ('cos they're tuff dudes) and then are shocked that the cat scratches them on any meeting. Who put themselves in their shoes so much that neutering the cat seems a human rights affront (which it would be but we are talking about CATS, c'mon).

Just talk to them, guys!
But, you know, they are not humans. They don't understand a debate. Talk cat. I don't mean "meow".

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A little exercise (788 words) in making a first-time zine – I really enjoyed throwing any and all effects at the viewer. Simply used Affinity Publisher (my old lemon V1 ;))

Writing: Jennifer S. Lange

Image credits: Cover - Jennifer S. Lange Page 2 - Cheshire Cat (costume design for Alice-in-Wonderland, 1915); William Penhallow Henderson; Smithsonian American Art Museum, Gift of Alice H. Rossin Page 4 - Honorable Mr. Cat (Helen Hyde, Smithsonian American Art Museum, Gift of Hyde Gillette in memory of Mabel Hyde Gillette and Edwin Fraser Gillette ) Page 5 - Cat (Ji Biao, Purchased from Sydney L. Moss ltd. 12 Queen Street, Mayfair, London W1J 5PG, The Victoria and Albert Museaum); Cat and Yellow Roses 6 (Jennifer S. Lange) Page 6 - Prowling Cat (Eileen Mayo, 1938, Given by Dr. R. Gainsborough, The Victoria and Albert Museum) Page 7 - cat via unDraw.co Page 9 - orange cat by jemastock, grey couch by dzynaanton88121, via Vecteezy.com Page 10 - cat throwing vase via storyset.com Page 11 - blue cat by Jal Reed via blush.deisgn; cat pattern by ciaoleandro via Vecteezy.com; various via clipart-library.com Page 12 - Illustration by Pixeltrue Ouch! Page 13 - Cats and reading h3 (Jennifer S. Lange)